The girl behind the Walls- Part I
Oh girl! come on. It’s been two weeks since I last heard you. I really hope you are fine. But why can’t I hear you? I have been in the right spot: beside the window placing my ears towards the direction of your room. But my room looks deserted and I feel deaf. I cannot think of anything but your voice, that mellifluous high pitched voice which deciphered my perplexed head. That ebullient voice calming me, even reaching out for me. Is that weird since we haven’t met yet and you probably don’t know about my existence?
You know, sometimes I feel I was having an illusion , like you weren’t there and I never heard you that night. But how can that be when I remember the voice perfectly. I have even drawn your image in my head. Who knows, may be we have stumbled upon each other. A part of me wanted to know you up close, a part of me wanted to keep you a secret. Maybe, that is why I was afraid to take an extra effort to meet you. I mean we are neighbors , possibilities were endless.
The possibilities have faded now, haven’t they ? Since it now seems I have lost you forever, our eternal relationship is gone and I am scared and lonely.
It was mid December when I shifted to this new room close to my college. First floor, left room: it was a cozy room with enough sunshine for cold December. I unpacked my backpacks and started setting up the room. Amidst the messed up room, I tidied the bed and with an exhausted look plunged into its coziness.
My bed was right beside window. A soft blow of wind caressed me tempting my eyelids to close. My mind delved into the parallel universe. A dreamlike sound was reaching out to me. The further I went to chase it , the more real it sounded. You were talking to someone, merrily, pausing for a laugh or a quick snort. I wanted to debug everything between the sound waves reaching my eardrum and the connecting nerve to the brain stimulating a certain reaction I was unaware of.
Was this a dream? Was this real?
I gasped and opened my eyes.
Your voice flashed Kaleidoscope rotating in a merry order in my eyes. Intoxicated, I craved more for the pitch, the tempo, the texture until my eyelids finally surrendered for the day.
The next morning
I still heard your voice, but in my head. I had to do something. Why was this feeling surreal, why did I hear the voice? “Whatever”, I tried to ignore with your voice still vibrating inside me.
At one point, I thought I was crazy.
Even forced myself to stop thinking about it. I was clearly failing at that because the more I tried to get it out off my head, the more loud you became.
The only progress I made was to locate on which position I heard the sound best. It must be coming from the green house, right beside where I live. Just a hunch for some clarity in my mind.
I have never seen anyone at that house though. Not yet.
At least by the end of the day, I concurred it wasn’t a dream, because I heard you again. The same time I heard you yesterday.
If I tell you about me, I never even had a crush before. I was not fascinated about love, affection or intimacy. I wondered what made me drawn towards you or rather your voice. More than that, what should I do next?
I came home early hoping to gather a little more information about you. I observed the green house properly. Every dimensions assuming every room and thinking which was yours. " She is probably in her room now", I thought. Even this thought delighted me. I stood before your house a few minutes until people started giving me strange looks. Awkwardly with a hope to return again, I floated swiftly.
For few days my status remained same, never found out further. To the bright side, my nights were dedicated to your voice acting as my lullaby.
Until three weeks ago.
Then the voice stopped. Suddenly. Completely.
It was silence. I was restless.
“Don’t worry, may be she is out on a vacation” I assured myself , patiently waiting to hear you again.
If only I knew your name, I could have looked you up in social media. Not that I have not thought about it before but I was happy with whatever was going with my life. A part of me really wanted to meet you in person and know you and fall in love with you and be forever together. A part of me was scared, what if you were not what I expected, and that ethereal connection would simply go in vain. I thought we were good, I thought I was good.
Something doesn’t feel right now. Like a part of me missing. A void.
Today is yet another day without your voice. I could not care less of what might have happened. I even started finding your trace on social media with no avail. But again, I didn’t even know your first name.
Damn! I should have made more effort when you were still here.
“Hey, are you there? Come upstairs we are having a small celebration today. We want you to join us” , my landlady called.
This was a good time for a inquiry . Anything about you.
“Yes, I am free, give me two minutes. ”, I dressed up and rushed upwards.
It was Hasan’s birthday, the landlady’s son. We were of same age, loved watching football together and sometimes had pair of joint together.
“Sorry man, couldn’t get you a present”. I winked.
“Don’t be silly. So tell me more, how’s college, what’s new”, he asked.
“Nothing much. Same routine every day. By the way, do you know who lives in the green house, the one beside my room?”, I cut to the main point.
“Nobody lives there. The house has been vacant for over a year”
“Vacant? Do you mean literally empty? But I keep hearing sounds from the house”.
“What?” he exclaimed with a startled look, “Are you serious?”
“A year ago, a girl committed suicide in the house. She was the only daughter but she lost her voice two years ago on an accident” he paused with a gloomy face.
“She was a lovely, bubbly, girl. And so beautiful. We didn’t have a chance to interact much, but I always wanted to”.
My ears felt betrayed. I couldn’t exactly fathom what is happening around me. The voice echoed “Am I hearing it right”.
I pinched. Still the same. Pinched harder. I was here at the couch listening to most tragic and horror story of my life.
I tried not to overreact. I was listening.
“The parents spent so much money but couldn’t get her voice back. She was quite depressed after the accident, I heard. “ he finished.
“Are you sure you are talking about the green house that faces my room?, because a month ago I heard a girl talking and I kept hearing her for a month and then the voice disappeared” I tried to say this loud but failed.
I was silent.
“Anyway, about the voice. Maybe the broker comes once in a while, the house is on sale”, he broke the silence.
“But I only hear the sound at night”, I spoke slowly.